Do you ever feel that the forces of the universe must be against you? That no matter what you do, you can’t seem to get ahead? Or that a select few people seem to win the life, business or relationship lottery while you perpetually come up empty-handed?
Undoubtedly, life can bring uncertainty, unpredictability and difficult experiences. But you are not powerless to the whims of circumstance. If you’re ready for your luck to change — or to start making your own — here are four questions to consider.
What are you thinking about?
When it comes to moving from where we are to where we want to be, there are three relatively simple components to the process of getting results: thoughts, emotions and actions. (It’s worth noting that those components are simple in concept, but not necessarily in execution.)
In other words, what we think leads to how we feel, and how we feel leads to the actions we take or don’t take, which leads to our results.
So, one way to deconstruct the myth and mystery around the notion of bad luck is to look at the dominant direction of your thoughts. For example, do you often think that your time to get things done, or get somewhere, is limited? If so, do you usually feel that you’re in a hurry, which leads you to be impatient with people — like wanting them to get things done faster, or simply to get out of your way? Do you also find that you’re frequently thwarted in accomplishing a task or getting to where you want to go because there are just too many people out doing too many things when you have important things to do?
On the flipside, when you think you have plenty of time to get something done or get to your destination, do you find that you don’t feel rushed, you can patiently allow people and situations to be as they are, and you accomplish your task or reach your destination with relative ease?
The quality of our thoughts directly correlates with the nature of our results in myriad life situations. We may not be able to control every event that takes place in our lives, but we certainly can reduce the number of seemingly unpleasant ones by tuning in to and observing what and how we’re thinking, feeling and doing.
Do you ignore internal nudges?
Do you get an intuitive or gut-level sense about what to do or not to do, or about people you might want to engage with or avoid?
If you do get those nudges, and you overrule them with your brain and thoughts like I’m sure it’s nothing or Maybe I’m just making a big deal out of nothing, is a less than ideal result really bad luck — or is the outcome more about your approach to decision-making?
Internal niggles are clues and signals that some part of you with a broader vision and a deeper wisdom is trying to get your attention and be your ally. Rather than fighting your intuition, or pushing it aside as nonsense, try developing a relationship with it. Learn what it feels, sounds or looks like when it appears. Heed its direction, observe what happens and, if you’re getting beneficial results, lean in and trust it (and yourself) more.
Are challenges opportunities in disguise?
A quote often attributed to Thomas Edison goes like this: “Opportunity is missed by most people because it’s dressed in overalls and looks like work.” Sometimes, what feels like bad luck may be the type of adversity that helps us stretch, grow or develop new skills. Confronting challenges helps us learn to problem-solve, be creative and find new ways to get around familiar obstacles. And, if we’re willing to allow it to be the case, these types of opportunities can increase our understanding of and compassion for ourselves and others — which helps us be better relationship partners, friends and leaders.
What else could be happening here?
People, situations and events tend to unfold according to their own timeline, rather than the plan we have for them. That could be to our benefit. The timing may not be quite right, circumstances may not yet be ready to fall into place or numerous other possibilities could be at play. So, rather than delivering bad luck, the forces of the universe may actually be looking out for you. You just can’t see how yet.
None of these suggestions is meant to serve as an excuse to blame, shame or guilt ourselves or others, or to be insensitive and suggest that we (or they) cause the difficulties that arise. Instead, we can feel empowered knowing that we do indeed have a say in what happens to us, and play an important role in creating the types of experiences we want to have more of.
Kristen Quirk is a transformational coach who helps professionals and spiritual seekers explore what it means to know themselves better, love themselves more and share from the heart. Kristen hosts the Being and Doing Now podcast and blog, and she is passionate about continually finding ways to connect more deeply with life, humans, animals and nature.
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